So, smallish announcement: I got a new job.  Not a brand-new job — the company I work for, which is a smallish company, made me their one-woman marketing show a couple weeks ago.  I had been in customer service, which is not my cup of tea, and being that I have a degree in marketing, I’m pretty stoked.

I’m also terrified.

This company has not had one dedicated marketing person in about a decade.  Now, as the full-time marketing girl, I have the unique opportunity to make this position into almost anything that I want.  It’s incredible.  And it’s terrifying.

Don’t get me wrong — I have a TON of ideas for marketing this company.  Very little has been done in regards to marketing, and I want to get so many projects started.  I’m super excited and thankful to have this opportunity.  I haven’t even been out of college for a year, and I’m in a unique position of considerable influence.  I’m extremely lucky that I happened to land in this company just at the moment that they were ready for a full-time marketing person.

But this type of job is brand-spanking-new for me.  I’ve only ever been in jobs where I’ve been told what to do, when to do it, and how to do it properly.  I’m great at following instructions, but I’ve never had to make up the instructions myself.

Actually, that’s not the part I’m most worried about.  I’m a motivated person, and I’m organized.  I can create goals and processes and schedules without a problem.  What I’m most worried about is how I fit in to the overall structure of the company.  Because there hasn’t been a marketing person in so long, there’s virtually no precedent to how I will work with my supervisors or anyone else.  I’m making up this entire thing as I go along.

If I’m going to be successful in this position, I’m going to have to become much more agressive.  Personality-wise, I’m pretty quiet and laid-back.  I don’t like inconveniencing people, so I’m typically very apologetic about asking for things, even when I don’t really need to be.  But I can already see that this is going to have to stop.  I can’t be timid about the projects I want to do.  I need to ask for the moon.  I will have to get approval for a lot of things, and I can’t be apologetic about asking for the things I will need to market this company successfully.  I have to own it.  I have to have confidence in myself and my ideas so that others will see the value in them.

Confidence changes a lot the older we get.  I’ve gotten so much more confidence throughout my high school and college years.  A lot of that has had to do with my appearance, and then my personality.  Now I will have to develop confidence in my skill and competence and ability to get results.  I won’t be able to sit back and let this develop naturally, either; I’m going to have to pretend I’m already super confident so that I’ll actually be super confident.

I do have some experience with this.  My flute lessons in high school will help.  I think I’ve mentioned before that for auditions, my teacher suggested that I visualize myself going into the audition and playing my scales, then my pieces.  She told me not to just think about auditioning, but to visualize each and every note.  How will I be standing?  How will I be breathing?  What will my fingers be doing?  Visualization is a powerful tool, and I fully believe in its power to give confidence when you need it.  It’s almost natural for me now to visualize myself doing things I know I’m going to be nervous about.

But even though I know I have the tools to develop confidence, inside I’m still nervous.  If you spend any time on the Internet, you know that most young adults feel like we are faking our way through life.  As kids, we think that once we reach this magical period of adulthood, we’ll have a good handle on things.  We’ll know how the world works and we’ll fit into it seamlessly without any fear or trepidation.  But any adult knows that is a big fat joke.

Do I feel like I’m faking everything?  Yes, sometimes.  Do I feel like I’m BS-ing my way through life (even though I thought that would stop after graduation)?  Absolutely.  But, am I confident in my ability to fake it till I make it?  One hundred percent.  And I guess that’s all I can ask for.