So, it’s been two months since I did my first goal post for this summer. In the midst of getting engaged, graduating, moving, job hunting, adjusting to a new job, and wedding planning, this blog has fallen by the wayside a bit. But I miss it, and everyone I’ve come to get to know a little bit through WordPress. I haven’t kept up with the blogging community, or my goals, as much as I wish I could this summer. But today I get to remedy that by taking a quick look at what my goals were for this summer (yikes).
- Be selfless — nothing in my life affects me and only me. Honestly, I’d forgotten all about this one. I don’t know that I’ve been more selfish than normal (though I definitely have my moments), but I haven’t intentionally been selfless either. Although I’ve managed to get my attitude somewhat, kind of in check about having a traditional, fairly expensive wedding, which was why I made this goal in the first place. I better not think about that too much, though, so moving on.
- Talk to myself. I have, but again, no more than normal. Although a couple times lately I’ve noticed myself sliding into a sour mood, and told myself to get it together, and it’s helped a little (when it doesn’t make me more annoyed than I already am, anyway). Actually, one of my new coworkers has helped with this a bit — she’s always sweet and kind, even when she’s stressed or pissed or doesn’t feel good, and it’s a great example for me.
- Make it a point to speak to people I don’t see on a regular basis. Well, I’ve spoken to people I don’t see often, but only a few times has it been me initiating. Still, mission accomplished? I guess?
- Always tell my fiance if something is bothering me. And here, folks, we have a work in progress. There was something a few days ago, and I brought it up (after a few days of stewing and knowing I should bring it up), and he didn’t see the issue as a problem and/or was too uncomfortable to talk about it like I wanted to, and so I let it go. So I guess props to me for actually speaking up, but fail to both of us for not following through. I’m hoping premarital counseling might help with our weird communication issues.
- Be assertive. I have tried to do this. A big thing has been in choosing wedding details. I don’t normally like being the one to make choices, especially about small details, because I usually don’t care that much. But I’ve had to make myself care, and I’ve had to learn to just say, “Let’s do this,” because as the bride-to-be, I’m the one everyone turns to for final decision making. As I’ve learned the policies at my new job, too, I’ve tried to be assertive and confident. I can’t run to my supervisor every time a customer gives me an issue, especially if it’s about a policy I know back and forth. I need to present myself as competent, even if I’m not as confident as I seem.
This summer has been a whirlwind, and it’s not going to stop anytime soon. The most I can do, I guess, is try to enjoy it as much as possible. That’s what life’s about anyway, isn’t it?
Dang it, I knew I forgot someone for the AwkWARD Award. You’ve been added to my list.
Just wanted to let you know I have nominated you for The Unique Blogger Award – here is the link.
‘if’ was a type sorry about that,
Regarding “There was something a few days ago, and I brought it up (after a few days of stewing and knowing I should bring it up), and he didn’t see the issue as a problem and/or was too uncomfortable to talk about it like I wanted to, and so I let it go. So I guess props to me for actually speaking up, but fail to both of us for not following through. I’m hoping premarital counseling might help with our weird communication issues”.
One of the many things that my years of experience as a counselor has taught me is that communication is CRUCIAL in relationships. If someone in a partnership feels that an issue is a problem then IT IS A PROBLEM and the issue deserves respectful examination and discussion rather than being dismissed. PERIOD. No one else gets to tell anyone else how they “should” feel. Having said THAT respect is also crucial; even more so than love and affection. It is VERY important to have the awkward; the difficult; the uncomfortable discussions to prevent having things fester. Ultimately, the more that we have these awkward, difficult, uncomfortable discussions regarding issues that bug us, the closer and more intimate we become.
((HUGS)) All the best as always
These are GREAT goals! Definitely inspirational.