A Study in PMS

Every single emotion is heightened.  Anger is actually furiousness.  Envy is actually burning jealousy.  Irritation is blood-pressure-heightening annoyance.  Little things get on your nerves.  Everything sounds good to eat and also nothing does.  You feel fat.  You feel too skinny.

The rational part of your mind whispers to you.  It’s okay that all those people are getting engaged and you’re not; it’s their time.  You and he have talked about this a lot and you know the best time frame for you.  Waiting isn’t the end of the world.  Also, you really like your body.  Yes, it’s incredibly difficult to find a good bra in your size, but think of all the other advantages of being small.  And as for the ridiculousness of the GOP debate only being available to cable-subscribers, you are absolutely right to be angry about that.  Absolutely do research and complain all you can.  Make your voice heard, and then at the end of the night let it go so that you can sleep.

That part infuriates you just because it’s right.  I have the right to feel my feelings! you scream.  I have the right to cry for no reason and crave cheddar cheese!  I even have the right to be snarky to my boyfriend just because I can!  He just doesn’t understand!

And then you actually are snarky to him and he handles it really well and then you feel like a horrible, selfish, and horribly selfish human being.  And even though periods really are a monster all their own, you kind of can’t wait for it to start because this ridiculousness needs to just end.

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