Ah, the job search.  How I adore the hunt, sniffing out the trail of “Hiring” signs and applications.  How I love the interviews — that slick feeling on the palms of my hands as I smile and try to answer coherently.  How I relish being turned down so I can search some more!

Right.  I’ve been looking for a summer job for a few weeks, and dude, it is hard.  I apply and get rejected, apply and get rejected, and the list keeps getting longer.  I am not an assertive person.  I am not a people person.  I hate going into stores and asking if they are hiring.  I put it off as long as possible.  But it’s inevitable.  At this moment, I am dreading growing up, because that means REALLY searching hard.  If I have this much trouble just finding a summer job, what am I going to do after college?

I actually got my first job last summer.  There is a frozen yogurt parlor close to my house, and I thought it might be a fun place to work.  I got an application, filled it out, and walked in one day.  The manager was there, and she looked over the application, asked me a couple of questions, and then handed me a W2 and a t-shirt.

I was elated.  How easy was that?  I started training the next week and worked there till school began.  I believed — and still do — that God had given me that job.

However, I almost wish it had not been that easy.  I’ve had to realize that I was an exception last summer, and that to get a job I have to work a lot harder.  And it’s difficult.  When I’m nervous, I procrastinate.  Then my parents get on my back about it and that makes me even less inclined to do what I have to.

I’m thankful for my parents, and I know they’re trying to help.  But all the “pep talks” in the world are not going to make me grow up any faster, and I wish they would realize that I need to make my own mistakes.  I need to make up my own mind.  But I also know that this is my life, and I need to be satisfied with my own motives.  Just because my parents tell me to do something doesn’t mean that’s the reason I do it.

This probably sounds like a rant, and I guess it is.  I just want someone to know that I am doing what I need to do.  And I am still trusting God.

Now I’m off to call about a job.