The Way It Is

I realize it’s been a crazy long time since I posted anything really worthwhile. October was an insane month for me where anything that wasn’t essential to life or education got stuck on the back burner — or more realistically, under the bed almost never to be seen again.

Luckily I can’t stand a dirty room.

I have finally decided where I’m going to college in the fall. After all that was done I was kind of like, “Whoa. . .I have all this time. . .what am I going to do with myself?” It’s like at the beginning of summer when all I do is lay around and read because I’ve forgotten how to function without school. Thankfully this time it only took me half a month to remember myself.

I keep a journal, and when I look back I realize how much I grow as a person each year. I have changed so much since I began high school as an insecure freshman. I don’t know whether it’s true to say I’ve changed more this year than I have the last three. What I do know is that I’m gaining my own perspectives on things I’ve glossed over before. A lot of it is from taking three dual-credit college courses this semester. Along with the class content, the people have taught me about both myself and human nature in general. As a home schooler, this is priceless.

I am a Christian, and I’ve grown in that as well, although that growth is slower than I’d like. I’m learning, among other things, that love in action is simpler than it seems. I’m learning that God speaks to us in so many different ways, and one person’s spirituality (though I dislike the word) may be just as valid as mine even if we have completely opposite worldviews. I’m learning more and more about God’s forgiveness and his ways and his plans. He is growing me and speaking to me every day, and I’m thankful for that.

I don’t really know what the point of this post was supposed to be, except that I wanted to tell what’s been going on. I’ve been busy, and have noticed myself changing, and wanted to write about it. Writing is therapeutic; it helps me organize my thoughts and draw more from circumstances than I otherwise would have. And sometimes I don’t have time or energy to handwrite it in a journal. And sometimes I want others to read my ramblings, want them to be seen, even if no one really cares. I guess this blog is just an online, public journal — more for me than for you. And that’s perfect — takes the pressure off.

A quirk about me — I like to write down funny or insightful quotes from teachers when I’m in class. So here are a couple for you before I sign off.